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A Guide to Casual Sex

Man and woman half undressed embrace

The idea of causal, or no strings attached, sex has been growing more popular in recent years. The film industry continues to produce more and more movies and TV shows featuring couples who are in open relationships or have a fuck buddy – these often end in disaster or ‘happily ever after’. What about that in between; where people are able to casually hook-up without getting their hearts broken?

Casual sex doesn’t work for everyone. If you go in with unrealistic expectations, or if casual hook-ups leave you feeling cheap and used (in a non kinky sort of way), it has the potential to end badly. Communication is very important when it comes to any relationship, but it’s even more so with a casual fling. The amount of time you have to get to know a person and figure out what they want is limited, so communication will ensure you are both on the same page and that there’ll be no bad feelings later on.

Set your intentions

If what you want is casual sex, remember that you are looking for casual sex. Think about what casual sex means: physical pleasure without emotional baggage. Don’t try to fool yourself into thinking that you can have casual sex if you already have feelings for someone. If both of you go into this with the expectation that it will be nothing more than sex; it should remain this way. Changing the end goal is not only unfair to your partner, but to yourself as well. Furthermore, it could potentially sour what was initially good fun.

Respect your boundaries

If you head out to a bar and you pick out someone you want to bone for the night and then you decide against it – listen to yourself on that one. Remember you can say no, even if you were the one who original suggested heading back to your place. That’s not something you give up when you go looking for a casual hook-up.

Approaching the question

This is a subject that is hard to broach and can be embarrassing for both parties. Being cautious when asking the question is important. If you’re too blunt and have misread a situation, you are likely to burn some bridges and offend. While the foundation of the relationship is sex, there are very few who would want to be blatantly asked if they fancy a quickie in the toilet. Why not start with a conversation based around sex – if your potential partner does not respond or seems uncomfortable, move on. If you find someone who is able to discuss the idea of sex like an open-minded adult, not only have you found someone who is comfortable with the idea but you’ll both be prepared for what to expect from the relationship once it starts.

Enjoy yourself

You have to remember that this relationship is all about sex, and so it is pointless reading too much into the actions of your partner. This is true in any relationship, but is even more important when it comes to a casual relationship. In the same way, it’s easy to worry about what they will thinks about your kinks or whatever you’re insecure about – you may or may not ever see this person again, who cares if they think you’re weird for wanting a spanking? Tell them to spank you!

If you are having fun and enjoying the sex, that’s all that matters. As soon as you get bored, or feel uncomfortable it is time to move on. If you’re honest (but not blunt) about the reasons behind ending the fling, both of you are likely to end on good terms and you can both move on. This leads on to the next point, don’t ask your partner out on a date – this includes lunch, drinks or a walk in the park. You may see this as being courteous or friendly, but what you are actually doing is sending out mixed signals. There is always a chance that feelings could develop, however you should be able to avoid that issue through keeping it casual (unless you choose not to) and therefore continue to enjoy exciting and easily available sex.

Casual flings and hook-ups are a way to get sex easily without the complications that a normal relationship presents. You have to keep in mind your intentions and stick to them to ensure you have a great time and get the most out of the experience.

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