“Am I sexually normal?”
This is a more common question than you might think. Most people want to know that they fall within the sexually ‘normal’ spectrum, and that whatever is going through their mind when they’re fantasising is acceptable. In all honesty, there really is no normal when it comes to sex; we are all different in our sexual desires and kinks. As long as there’s mutual consent, plenty of communication and you are both safe, it really doesn’t matter what gets you going.
Fantasy or Fetish?
Aren’t they the same thing? Well, no. In short, a fantasy is something that you spend a good time focusing on while having sex or masturbating – for example your celebrity crush or a particular scenario you would like to try. Some are high up on your sexual bucket list and some will never be more than just a fantasy.
A fetish, on the other hand, is something that has to be present for you to achieve sexual arousal and orgasm. For example – if you have a fetish for silk, your partner needs to be wearing silk lingerie or you need to be doing it on a silk blanket for you to stay sexually focused.
Common Fetishes
So which fetishes are most common?
1. Foot Fetish
It receives a lot of bad press, but this is one of the most common fetishes. In a recent study of fetishes published in the International Journal of Impotence Research, feet and toes were the body parts most likely to be lusted after. Every detail about the foot can get an individual going. The majority of foot fetishists are men who often enjoy the smell or taste of feet and require some interaction with this part of the body in order to experience an orgasm.
2. Latex
Do you experience immense sexual pleasure when your partner wears latex, PVC or rubber? Then you may have a latex fetish. For some, it is the presence of these materials that excites them. For others, simply the smell or touch of latex is enough.
3. Domination and Submission
Does the idea of being tied up turn you on? Or maybe the idea of spanking your partner? Thanks to 50 Shades of Grey, BDSM has become increasingly popular recently. It stands for bondage, domination and submission, sadism and masochism – essentially an umbrella term for couples who engage in sexual activities that have some kind of dominant submissive power play.
4. Voyeurism
In a recent study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, more than 10 percent of guys reported at least one instance of voyeuristic behaviour. This fetish revolves around getting turned on either by looking at people having sex or the thought of being watched while doing it.
5. Cross Dressing
This particular fetish is more common than you’d imagine. It involves the fetishist need to either wear clothes from the opposite sex or be with someone who is. Although commonly associated with gay men, this fetish is equally as prominent among straight men. Why? For many, it is the excitement of wearing an item, or items, of clothing that is forbidden to them and could be caught doing.
6. Furries
Furries, or furry fandom is a subculture interested in fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human characteristics of personalities, for example – the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes. The community gather a few times a year to dress up as a form of expression, whether sexual or otherwise. It is important to note that not all members of the furry fandom participate in a sexual way, but there are, of course, some who are sexually aroused by this form of cosplay.
Whatever you or your partner is into, keep in mind that there is something out there for everyone. The key to a great sex-life is to keep an open-mind and try new things – after all, you may stumble upon a kink that will really get you hot under the collar!