Whatever happened to fingering? Sometimes going back to the basics is all you need to spice things up a little.
Safety First
It’s really important to have clean, well-groomed hands when you’re touching your partner’s genitals. Keep your fingernails trimmed to avoid scratching her sensitive skin. You also want to make sure to wash your hands right before getting down to business, to protect her from possible infections.
Don’t Forget the Foreplay
As with most things, when you’re turned on you are more likely to enjoy a kinky experience. Get your partner in the mood by trailing a finger over her thighs, or stimulate the area around the vagina and clitoris with your mouth, tongue, or a well-lubed finger. Don’t neglect the rest of his body. Many women can’t orgasm through G-spot stimulation alone, so give plenty of attention to her breasts, ass, neck, and clit.
Use Lube
The skin on a woman’s genitals can be quite delicate and you could easily pull and tug at her skin while fingering. Lube will prevent this. You can use her natural fluids as lubricant (just dip your fingers into her vaginal opening), but it is unlikely to last as long and she may feel embarrassed if she ‘dries out’. A silicone based lube, such as Durex Play Real Feel (€11.64, kinky.ie), doesn’t dry out easily and will help your fingers glide and move around easily. For something a little different, Durex Play Tingle (€6.98, kinky.ie), will not only decrease her discomfort, but it will also increase her sensitivity and gives a wonderful tingling sensation.
Techniques
Every woman’s body responds differently, so you’ll want to play around with a few different ways of touching her to figure out what she likes best. There’s no need to go crazy with a variety of techniques; just give her a few options! In general, women like one of three different approaches: clitoral stroking, penetration with your fingers, or stimulating two areas at the same time.
1) The Clit-Rubber
For most women, the clitoris is the place to stimulate. Start off by kissing her gently and rubbing other sensitive areas of her body, such as her inner thighs, neck and nipples. When you’re both ready, use the tips of your fingers to rub her clitoris softly in a circular motion. Listen to her moans and groans, they will let you know when you’re hitting the spot. Continue your pace and when she’s ready, slowly begin to increase speed.
Some women will want you to keep going at an increased speed without stopping, however, others like it when you take a break and insert your fingers into her vagina instead. Again, it all depends on her reaction – and don’t be afraid to ask her what she likes and to guide your movements. Avoid questions that put your partner in a tough spot. For example, questions like “‘Is that good?” or “Are you close?” are setting you up to have your feelings hurt if the answer is no. Instead, ask questions like “Faster or slower?”. The answers to these questions will give you the information you need and will make the experience more enjoyable for you both.
2) Tapping the G-Spot
If you stimulate the G-spot correctly it’ll feel amazing. The best way to do this is to sit in front of her with your palm facing up, insert your fingers inside her and make a “come hither” motion. Imagine that you are tapping her belly button from the inside. This will, in effect, be tapping her G-spot. Start off slowly and gently and judging by her reaction you can begin to increase the speed, but keep the same rhythm.
3) The Explorer
If you and your partner have explored anal play before or are looking to try something a little kinky in the bedroom, this one could be a sexy and exciting experience for you both. While you’re using your index and middle fingers in her vagina, stick your pinkie finger in her anus (your hand must be sideways for this, and use plenty of lube!). While you go in and out, both holes will be stimulated simultaneously. Again, this will feel amazing. Keep in mind that after you place a finger into her anus, that finger cannot be placed anywhere else as it may lead to an infection.