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Introducing Fantasies to the Bedroom

Woman in black lies on red sheet

We all have fantasies that we would like to explore, and yet when it comes to sharing these intimate and kinky thoughts, we find ourselves worrying about what turns us on and will potentially turn them off. It’s partly to do with respect and partly to do with etiquette – no matter how comfortable you may be with your partner, there is always the risk of hurting their feelings and offending them. So, how do you tell them what you want — and what you don’t want — without offending them or feeling awkward? Here’s a few suggestion….

Pick Your Time

We are at our most vulnerable when we are naked and open, so this may not be the best time to suggest trying something new. This is a conversation that should be had over dinner, or while having a few drinks, and should be kept light and upbeat. Try to avoid accusing your partner and being negative – if you criticise your sex life, it can leave them feeling deflated and bad all around. If you’re looking to change something, say what you want and not what you don’t want. Be clear and honest and give your partner a chance to share their thoughts and preferences too.

Keep It Positive

 

Leading on from the above point – don’t complain! If you want to try something new, introduce it as a topic of general conversation. Talk about a sexy article you read (you could even read the article together and share ideas), or suggest you watch a porn movie together that highlights what you are looking for (faster pace, different positions, and so on). That way, you’re not attacking your partner, instead you are exploring new options together.

Be Honest

As mentioned above, the best way to let them know what you like is by showing and telling them. If she does something that really work for you, let her know so that she’ll continue doing it. Without direction, how are they meant to know what turns you on? Guide their hands, their tongue, their lips, and show them what works for you. Tell her and caress her in a way that encourages her to keep doing what she’s doing. Then switch over, and let her guide you. It should be a process of discovery for both of you.

Naked man in handcuffs, naked woman behind him

Compliment

 

Women want to know that you still find them sexy and desired. If you want to spice things up, let her know how hot she is and how much you want her. Tell her you’ve fantasised about her and then explain the scenario. If you’re being sincere, your girl will pick up on it and open up to the ideas you’re sharing with her. If she’s not open to the suggestion, let her know that it is okay. You could even tell her how much you want to please her, and ask if there’s something she has fantasised about. Who knows what you’ll discover!

Don’t Fake It

 

If your partner suggests something that you’re not into; be honest. Pretending you are into something in order to avoid hurting her feelings will only lead to frustration and could have a lasting impact on your sex life. Being curious and testing the waters is fine, but if it does nothing for you – let her know. You never know, you might be able to compromise and incorporate various aspects of each other’s fantasies into one kinky scene!

Don’t Pressure Her

Sex is an intimate part of a relationship, which should be respected. When discussing your fantasies beforehand, agree to open up about what feels good and what they want and need. Exposing ourselves deserves proper etiquette – if you want to ask your girl to touch you in a certain way, suggest it or show her how you like to be touched. Don’t ask in a demanding way, not unless she has expressed that she enjoys being submissive.

Overall, exploring fantasies involves honesty, good communication, and trust. It can be a slow process and may require a lot of deep and meaningful conversations beforehand. Believe us when we say it’ll be worth the wait!

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