Despite the immense pleasure that can found in the prostate, it is still relatively taboo among heterosexual men. Some worry that enjoying a little prostate play will turn them gay, some think it’s too dirty, and others fear the pain it may cause. Well, you’re missing out! A recent study found that the male orgasm is 33% more powerful when the prostate is stimulated.
The key is to be prepared – you need to know the right positions, the right tools, and how to use them. Don’t worry, we are here to help!
What Is the Prostate?
The prostate is a walnut sized, semen-storing gland located at the root of the penis. The P-spot, also sometimes known as the male G-spot, is the area of the prostate that can be felt and stimulated. Research suggests that regular prostate massage reduces the risk of prostatitis, prostate cancer, symptoms of erectile dysfunction, and genital pain.
Safety and Hygiene
It goes without saying that hygiene is important. It is important to shower and clean out the anus beforehand. Through washing beforehand, it reduces the risk that germs will spread, it limits unpleasant smells and tastes, and it helps allay any fears about hygiene and cleanliness.
This may sound obvious, but make sure you clean your anal toys thoroughly after every use. This is even more important if you share your toys with your partner. There are products available that are marketed as sex toy cleaners, however, how soapy water will also do the trick.
Here are some general do’s and don’ts which we promise will make the experience as pleasurable as possible:
Do – trim fingernails, go to the toilet before getting started, using plenty of lube, stop if you experience pain.
Don’t – press too hard onto the central area of the prostate, force your toy or finger in, massage the prostate if you have prostate cancer, calculi, or prostatitis.
Don’t Forget the Foreplay
As with most things; the more turned on you are, the more likely they are to enjoy a kinky experience. Get your partner in the mood by trailing a finger between his ass cheeks, or stimulate the area around the anus with your tongue, a well-lubed finger, or some toys with varying temperatures/textures.
Lashings of Lube
The anus is not self-lubricating, so use plenty of lube. Lube will reduce friction and will make the experience far more pleasurable. There’s a variety of anal lubes available, but any thick and silky lube such as Super Silk (€ 13.01, kinky.ie) will do the job. However, avoid lubes that contain numbing ingredients. Pain is a sign that something isn’t right, so you’ll want his pain sensors fully operational so that he is able to guide you. Talking of fully operational – do not attempt prostate play if either of you have been drinking, this lowers inhibitions and can lead to serious damage.
Using The Finger
The finger is recommended as a starting point, as it allows for easy insertion and optimum comfort. Once the finger and the area around the anus is lubed, you are ready to go. We recommend lying down to aid relaxation and comfort. Move the buttocks apart and gently massage the rectal opening. Then when you’re ready, insert the finger slowly and gently into the anus and gently move it around without going deeper than an inch (or less if it is uncomfortable). For a deeper exploration, insert the finger in an upwards direction until you come to a soft rounded tissue. Once you have reached the prostate, gently stroke the side in a ‘come here’ motion.
If the finger isn’t quite hitting the spot, there’s always toys to help with the job.
Choosing The Right Toy
When using something other than your finger, make sure the toy was designed for anal play. Anal toys are both enjoyable and easy to use. Nevertheless, there’s a few things to take into consideration before purchasing your first toy. Firstly, buy from a respected store and if possible, check the quality of the toy before purchasing. Choose a toy that is made from plastic or silicone, and avoid toys that are made from wood or glass at all costs. Go for a toy that also has a flared base to prevent it for being sucked too far into the rectum. For example, both Euphoria Syn Aneros, (€ 65.11, kinky.ie) and LELO Billy (€ 104.19, kinky.ie) have a base above the handle that is designed to offer both safety, security, and peace of mind.
And remember, no matter whose fantasy it is, or how much fun you’re having – your partner is always in charge. It’s his anus, after all. Prostate play is a mind-blowingly kinky experience, but it’s also a new experience that can take some time to get used to. So, let him set the pace and guide you. Be gentle, be patient, communicate, and most importantly have fun!