A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Fingering

Anal play is a difficult thing to ease into for many people, but it is a popular BDSM activity that can be pleasurable for either sex. For both men and women, the anus is a sensitive area. For women, it can sometimes stimulate the G-spot through the vaginal walls. Orgasms are possible through anal penetration for women, but usually it is just another activity that feels good. For men, immense pleasure can be found in the prostate – one study found that the male orgasm is 33% more powerful when the prostate is stimulated.  

Anal stimulation isn’t for everyone, but until you try it you won’t know. According to the National Health Statistics study, 36% of women and 44% of men have tried some form of anal play. These figures suggest that heterosexuals are becoming more open to the idea of anal stimulation, with one in three women and almost half of the population of men having already started exploring the joys of anal play.  

Communicating About Anal Stimulation 

Even though many of us enjoying anal play, it is not something that couples should rush into. Communicating our preferences and worries is important and an easy way to gage where your partner stands on the issue. If they’re not totally sold on the idea, don’t push it. Suggest watching anal porn together instead or offer to massage their lower back, thighs, and bum cheeks. If you want to make your partner feel comfortable about anal stimulation, preparation will help ensure a smooth and pleasurable experience.    

Safety and Hygiene 

It goes without saying that hygiene is important. It is important to shower and clean out the anus beforehand. Through washing beforehand, it reduces the risk that germs will spread, it limits unpleasant smells and tastes, and it helps dispel any fears about hygiene and cleanliness. If you want a thorough clean you can use an Anal Douche (€18.36) – otherwise a thorough shower will do the job. 

Wearing a glove can prevent any damage to your partner’s anus. If you opt for no-gloves, ensure that your nails are clipped short with no ragged edges, which can cause tearing in the rectum.  

Lashings of Lube 

The anus is not self-lubricating, which can lead to tiny tears, so plenty of lube is needed. Lube will reduce friction and will make the experience far more pleasurable. There’s a variety of anal lubes available that are formulated for added comfort – SPIT (€18.36) is a super slick, smooth and long lasting anal lube that’s perfect for beginners. Plan on using silicone toys in the future? Boy Butter (€11.47) is a long-lasting water based lube with added Vitamin E and Shea butter that’s safe to use for both men and women.  

Avoid any lube with numbing ingredients. Pain is a sign that something isn’t right, so you’ll want your partner’s pain sensors fully operational so that they are able to guide you.  

Don’t Forget the Foreplay 

As with most things, when you’re turned on you are more likely to enjoy a kinky experience. Get your partner in the mood by trailing a finger between their ass cheeks or stimulate the area around the anus with your mouth, tongue, or a well-lubed finger. 

Positions and Techniques 

When it comes to anal fingering, it is all about finding a technique that works for both you and your partner. Here are some techniques to get you started:   

See-Saw: This is a simple move that will get them nice and warmed up. Put your hands together flat, palms touching, and place the outer edge between their cheeks, over the anus and perineum. With an up-and-down sawing motion, rub this very sensitive spot to stimulate and relax the muscles. Play with the speed and pressure until you find what works best for them.  

Push the Button: When you’re ready to enter, slowly and gently press a well-lubricated index or middle finger on their anus; don’t push, just apply steady pressure for them to suck you in past the first sphincter. Tell your partner to breathe deeply, relax, and focus on contracting and releasing the pelvic muscles. Don’t force your finger in – your partner needs to adjust to this new and different sensation. 

Check the Clock: Once you’re in you can experiment a little more. Try pressing along the outer edge of the rectum with your finger, stopping to make small circles at each hour. Communicate with your partner what you’re doing and always ask for feedback. This well help you both memorize which spots really work for them.  

Remember – no matter whose fantasy it is, or how much fun you’re having – your partner is always in charge. It’s their anus, after all. Anal fingering is a mind-blowingly kinky experience, but it’s also a new experience that may take some time to get used to. And so, they should set the pace, they should guide you, and most importantly – when they call out the safeword, or says stop, the session ends. Be gentle, be patient, communicate, and most importantly have fun!