So, you want to take your BDSM to the next level? Looking to play with fire without getting burnt? Well you’ve come to the right place!
Wax play is a form of advanced temperature play that is usually practiced within a BDSM context. This form of play introduces the idea of gently burning the skin – when applied carefully, your partner will be overwhelmed by waves of gratifying endorphins, experiencing a sensual high and squirming in agonising pleasure. However, like all aspects of BDSM, wax play can be dangerous. So, here’s a guide to follow that will ensure sadistic satisfaction, without compromising on safety.
Safety First
As with all aspects of kink, if you or your partner experience any pain or loss of sensation, stop immediately. Agree on a safe word before getting started, and avoid gagging your partner/sub during wax play – it is important that you can both maintain communication during your play.
It’s important that you invest in the correct products. It’s always safest to use candles that have been specifically designed for this type of play, which have a lower melting point that your average high-street candles. However, if you do decide to purchase standard candles you should avoid beeswax, gel, and scented candles, which burn at a very high temperature and result in second degree burns. Soy wax candles are the safest standard candles, as they cool quickly on contact and make for an easier clean up.
The further the candle is from the skin, the better. Stand high over your partner/sub and drip the wax from arm’s length (or at least 18 inches) away from the skin. Beware of splattering, and never drip candle wax on the face. Splattering in the eyes can blind. We recommend testing how hot the wax is beforehand. Drip a small amount on your wrist or the back of your hand to test the temperature. It is also worth dripping a small amount of wax on your partner/sub’s arm to test their reaction to the temperature and ensure there is no allergic reaction. If they are happy and there is no adverse reaction, then you can start your play.
Body areas will vary widely by pain sensitivity. Start your play by dripping wax onto your partner’s back, arms, and shoulders. Once they’re comfortable, move onto other more sensitive areas, such as the buttocks, thighs, and stomach.
Removing Wax
Wax removal can be a painful exercise. Candle wax is tough to get out of just about anything, it will stick to hair for days, stain fabrics, and might have to be scraped off the skin. Depending on what you and your partner want from the experience, this could add another dimension to your play and intensify the fun. You could try picking off the wax with your nails, a credit card, or even a blunt knife to keep your partner writhing with excitement. You could even add other elements of BDSM play such as spanking or electrostimulation. To avoid your bedding or carpet being stained with wax, put down a damp cloth or plastic sheet for your partner to lie or sit on.
Aftercare
All scenes, no matter what the focus is, should include responsible aftercare. Once a BDSM play scene has ended, it hasn’t really ended – the intimate and emotional connections will still be there, and so aftercare is important for everyone involved. There’s a wide range of thoughts, feeling and emotions that are linked with kink, especially as many of the scenes performed test one’s limits, boundaries, power, and control. The time following the end of the scene is an important time to strengthen the emotional connection and the feeling of well-being for both of you. It’s also a time to show each other how much you enjoyed the scene, and to debrief.
Due to the intense level of this type of play, tending to your partner is extremely important. Treat the skin with care, it may be warm to the touch, incredibly sensitive, and have a soft red glow. Gently massaging moisturising lotion with aloe vera or after sun cream will help soothe the skin. This should leave your partner feeling cared for and safe. Having an aftercare kit nearby is also recommended as it ensures that everything you need is close to hand, so you don’t have to leave your partner to go in search of plasters or creams.