Fisting, the erotic act of penetrating the vagina or anus with the entire hand, is a controversial act that is often considered dangerous and intense – and not in a good way. Because of this, fisting has been banned from UK porn due to its ‘life endangering’ implications.
Despite its reputation as a brutal and extreme sex act – fisting can open up a world of intense and euphoric pleasure. Like any sex act, the experience depends way more on the attitude and intentions you bring rather than the act itself. You can learn to fist with grace and skill, so it is a powerfully pleasurable act that she loves.
Safety First
It goes without saying that hygiene is important – so make sure you wash your hands thoroughly beforehand. Wearing a glove can prevent any damage to your partner’s vagina, but keep in mind that latex gloves are not compatible with oil based lubes. If you opt for no-gloves, ensure that your nails are clipped short and rounded with no ragged edges, which can cause tearing.
Although the vagina is self-lubricating, plenty of lube is still needed as it will reduce friction and will make the experience far more pleasurable. We recommend opting for a silicone based lube that’s designed for heavier play like Mister B Fist Classic Lube (€25.26, kinky.ie). As a precaution, you might want to arrange some towels on the bed beforehand, because with all the lube you’ll be using, the odds that it’ll leak all over your sheets are high. Better safe and dry than wet and sorry.
Avoid using fisting gels with numbing agents because it can stop the receiver from being aware when something isn’t going well for them or is painful. If the person being fisted can’t feel everything, they are unable to stop play if something becomes uncomfortable – putting themselves at risk of injury.
Getting Started
Leave lots of time to get comfortable and experiment with your partner. Don’t force or rush anything – all good things come to those who wait.
Make sure your partner is as aroused as possible beforehand. For the vagina walls to expand and the muscles to loosen up to accommodate a hand, the receiver has to be relaxed and extremely aroused. Warm her up with non-penetrative genital stimulation which will get the blood pumping in the pelvic area. Then put her in charge of clitoral stimulation so you can focus on penetrating her with smaller toys or even just a few fingers to get them wet and aroused.
When you’re both ready, insert two fingers in a V shape, and massage internally to relax the muscles. There’s no such thing as too much lube, so regularly lubricate. Slowly add another finger, and then another until she can comfortably accommodate four of your fingers. Fuse your fingers together to form a ‘beak’– the fingers are positioned tightly together and straight. If your partner comfortable with four fingers inside, tuck your thumb under your palm and move the fist in a little deeper. At that point, it’s just about getting past your knuckles and the rest of the hand will naturally pull in and the fist will curl once inside.
Fisting is an extremely intense experience which can only be shared with someone you trust. For this reason, you need to be extremely responsive and obedient to your partner’s requests; communicate regularly, read her body languages, and listen to her moans and groans as guidance.
Time to Experiment?
Once you and your partner have taken some time to get used to the new sensations, it’s time to shake things up a little! Remember that the smallest of movements will create a huge amount of sensation; try turning your wrist, moving your hand up and down subtly, or flexing the fingers and thumb to produce stimulating sensations. For many, no movement may be required at all as the intense sensation alone is orgasmic. For easy removal, return your hand to the ‘beak’ position and it will glide out with ease.