Flogging is form of BDSM involving dominance, submission and often bondage. This kink consists of one person, known as the ‘bottom’, being struck by another person, known as the ‘top’. Floggers consist of strands of leather, or other materials, called falls. The falls are attached to a firm handle, which are often wrapped in leather for easier gripping. Compared to other impact play toys, the flogger has the most options of any non-electric tool in the kinky toolbox, and they provide a wide range of sensation with a minimal amount of risk.
Safety Issues
Although an erotic flogging is rarely bloody, many flogging implements can open the surface of the skin, either by cutting or scraping or by causing the weakened skin to break. For those new to flogging; rubber and wide-tailed floggers should be avoided, as they tend to scrape and bruise the skin. Only progress to these once you are comfortable with the basics.
While cuts and bruises are occupational hazards and, for some, the desired outcome of a flogging session, bad technique can result in injuries to parts of the body that should not be involved, such as the eyes, the spine, and internal organs. Damage to these areas can be serious, and even life-threatening. To minimalise the risks; the ‘top’ needs to keep in control at all times, and resist the temptation of getting lost in the moment. If you’re flogging your partner’s butt, it’s easy to lay a thick blanket over the kidney and tailbone area for added protection in case of an accident. Furthermore, as with all forms of BDSM, a safe word should be established.
Choosing The Right Flogger
Most toys used for flogging can be purchased at most sex shops, or online. Floggers can be made of almost any material, but many start out with a flogger made of suede as it’s flexible and a little gentler on the skin. Most leather floggers are great for beginners – just keep in mind that the type of leather makes a huge difference in the feel of the flogger. Start with something soft and flexible, which will deliver the nice thud mixed with just a little sting, such as the Whip Xavier (€ 70.30, kinky.ie).
You can always buy bigger nastier floggers once you and your partner know what you are doing. Always evaluate the heaviness of the material, its flexibility, roughness, and how easy it is to grip before buying. If possible, when buying a flogger, insist on testing each model you are considering on a bare part of your own body such as your leg or arm.
Starting Out
Building up to the experience is important, as few enjoy being smacked and flogged when they’re not in the mood. For some, an important part of build-up is the smell and feel of the tool; for such a person, at various points before and during your session you should hold the flogger near your partners face and allow him or her to smell it, kiss it, lick it, and so forth. For others, the act of being put in restraints will get them in the mood; if you are putting wrist restraints on your partner, do so slowly. The anticipation is part of the fun!
As with most sexual experiences, it is best to begin slowly and lightly, progressing to greater intensities as you become comfortable. Let it begin softly, and build as endorphin levels rise to stronger strokes. As a general rule, it takes 15-20 minutes for endorphin levels in the body to increase. Another tell-tale sign is to keep an eye on the skin; most skin exhibits redness when it is warmed up to the point where harder strokes may be done.
Varying Sensations
Most will take a longer, more intense, and more enjoyable flogging if sensations are varied during the course of it. Stop occasionally during your session, and run something along the area that has been flogged; fur mitten, silk scarf, your fingers and so forth. Avoid striking in the same place every time, as the soreness will outweigh the pleasure. Of course, if your partner enjoys a bit of pain – they may want you to strike in the same place. Discuss your partner’s pain tolerance and preferences beforehand, to establish what you and your partner want from this experience.
If your partners back becomes too hot during the session (establishing a serious of safe words will help convey your partner’s needs), it helps to have a water-spray bottle or ice cubes nearby. When starting out, it is best to make a rough plan of events – that way you both know what will happen, and when. This will prevent any nasty surprises and will ensure that you both get exactly what you want out of the experience!