Rimming is the act of using your mouth to pleasure and stimulate the outside rim of the anus. It’s a technique that is often misunderstood and misrepresented. As such, many automatically dislike it before they have even given it a go. If you are already a fan of anal play, rimming is simply a variation worth trying. For those who are new to anal, it’s a gentle and intimate way of experimenting for the first time.
In the last 12 months, sales of butt plugs have risen by over 70% and the number of prostate toys sold has increased by 59%. Here are some more facts: according to the National Health Statistics study, 36% of women and 44% of men have had anal sex. These figures suggest that heterosexuals are becoming more open to the idea of anal play, with one in three women and almost half of the population of men have already began exploring the joys of anal play.
Here is a practical guide outlining everything you need to know in order to give and receive the perfect rim job.
Safety and Hygiene
It goes without saying that hygiene is important. Firstly, when it comes to anal sex the risks of infections and STI’s are higher. For your safety and the safety of your partner, we recommend that you both get tested regularly to ensure that neither of you accidentally pass anything on.
Secondly, it is important to shower and clean out your anus beforehand. Through washing before rimming, it reduces the risk that germs will spread, it limits unpleasant smells and tastes for the giver, and helps the receiver relax in the knowledge that they won’t catch or stumble across anything unpleasant. If you want a thorough clean you can use an enema – otherwise simply showering will do the job. If you or your partner are still worried about the spread of bacteria and infection, using a barrier could be the solution. Dental dam are best, but un-lubricated condom, plastic wrap or latex will also do the job.
Positions and Techniques
When it comes to rimming, it is all about finding a technique that works for both you and your partner. So take your time testing out a few different positions and methods. For beginners, if the receiver is generally quite strong, I recommend getting your partner to kneel on the sofa, resting their elbows against the back of it and arching their ass out. This can be too intense for some; lying on their stomach might be more enjoyable.
There’s no need to rush straight into using tongue. Begin by massaging their bum cheeks. After a while, start gently pulling the cheeks apart so the anus is exposed and gradually move your fingers closer to it. Mix it up a little and take your time kissing and sucking instead. Start with the thighs, lower back and legs first – slowly making your way to the anus. Blowing warm air onto the anus and the skin around it also works well, and a combination of both will feel incredible. When you’re both ready, start off gently by using up and down motions – keeping the tongue outside of the body to begin with.
Once you are ready, make sure the receiver is in a position that gives you easy access to the anus while still being comfortable for them. If you are both enjoying what you’re already doing, keep going with it. If you’re ready to move to the next step, push your tongue in very lightly. There aren’t as many nerves inside the rectum, so you don’t need to penetrate your partner bum. Gentle manipulation is much more pleasant. To achieve this, the tongue needs to be kept flat but pointed and there needs to be plenty of lube (flavoured lube will mask any unpleasant scents and tastes). We recommend keeping lube (any lube is fine) nearby for quick access, so you can easily top up when it’s needed.
Try not to neglect the rest of your partner’s body while you are concentrating on getting kinky with their back door. Run your hands across their thighs and down their legs, play with their nipples, clit, balls – the added sensations will drive them wild! Experimenting and trying new and kinky things is part of the fun, so don’t hold back!