Masturbation is one of the greatest and safest forms of sex that we can engage in, and yet many of us are embarrassed to get down and dirty with ourselves. There’s no reason why we should be ashamed – masturbation feels great, relieves sexual frustration, and can be very kinky. If that’s not enough, science has shown that masturbating can also provide plenty of health benefits; from preventing cancer to making you harder and helping you last longer!
Solo play is an important part of every sex life, whether it’s for you to enjoy alone or to share with a partner to show them exactly how you like to be touched. Here’s your guide to solo play, complete with everything you need to be your own best lover.
1. Don’t Masturbate Like It’s Something You Must Accomplish
Give yourself enough time to ensure you don’t end up feeling rushed. Unless you’re trying to smash your Personal Best climax time, there’s no need to go at it like there’s no tomorrow. Creating a sexy, un-stressful atmosphere is a big part of the experience. The brain is the largest sex organ – a lot of our arousal is tied to our brains, which is why we often need to get into the mindset for sex, even if we’re just planning a sexy evening for one. To enhance the experience, why not play some sexy music, light some candles, and dim the lights?
2. You Can Use a Toy, But Start with Your Hands
There are so many different toys you can bring in the mix including clitoral, vaginal, dual stimulation toys, anal, and more. Although toys can be fun and have a better success at getting you to climax, using your hands in the beginning can be a great way to learn about your body. Knowing how your body works, and what you’re capable of, will leave you feeling more in control of your own sexuality and pleasure.
It’s also more comparable to the sensations caused by a partner’s hands – providing vital information for your partner about how you like to be touched.
3. Lubricant – The Secret Weapon
Lube has the power to make everything feel so much better. So, whether you’re getting your hands dirty or reaching for your favourite toy, add a little bit of lubricant, like ID Moments Water Based Lube (€11.47, kinky.ie), into the mix and kick your masturbation up a notch!
4. There’s Nothing Wrong with Visual Aids
As mentioned earlier, the biggest sex organ is between the ears, so engage your brain as well. Porn plays to your additional senses, and could help enhance your mood, or even provide a little fantasy inspiration. Check out arousing images online, read erotica, or use your imagination – whatever you need to do to fuel that fire!
5. Mutual Masturbation Can Be Rewarding
Mutual masturbation can feel slightly taboo since self-pleasure is generally seen as a private act. Although most people continue to masturbate while in relationships, many couples hide their masturbation. Not everyone will be keen on the idea of mutual masturbation at first – so try talking through the session, discussing how you will both benefit, letting your partner know how sexy you think it would be, assure them they can go at their own pace and stop when they want. The point is to get masturbation on the table and gage whether you and your partner are comfortable with the idea. If you sense your partner is uncomfortable, give them time to absorb this new information.
The first time might feel weird – for most people the easiest way to masturbate in front of a partner to begin with is by closing their eyes or using a Blindfold (€5.73, kinky.ie). When you’re ready, sit facing each other and take it in turns watching the other masturbate without any distractions. As your partner comes close to climaxing, try kissing their neck and running your hands over their body for added fun.
Once you’re comfortable with mutual masturbation, it’s time to take it to the next level. Try playing with different positions and situations – try different pieces of furniture, add sex toys, and explore different fantasy scenarios for a kinky twist. Mutual masturbation can also mean masturbating together, but separately. Some make a game of it, trying to masturbate in sync so they finish at the same time. As you get closer to the edge, maintain eye contact and mimic each other’s rhythms as you stroke and play your way to mind-blowing orgasms. It’s kinky, intimate, and super sexy!