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A Beginner’s Guide To Wax Play

Two candles

If you’re looking to take your BDSM play to the next level, wax play might be right up your street.

Wax play is a form of advanced temperature play that introduces the idea of gently burning the skin – when applied carefully, your partner will be overwhelmed by waves of gratifying endorphins, experiencing a sensual high and squirming in agonising pleasure. Compared with other edge play activities, such as knife play, fire play, breath control, and mummification, wax play would appear to be quite safe. However, like all aspects of BDSM, wax play can be dangerous.

So, here’s a guide to follow that will ensure sadistic satisfaction, without compromising on safety.

Safety First

As with all aspects of kink, agree on a safe word before getting started, and avoid gagging your partner/sub during wax play – it is important that you can both maintain communication during your play.

It’s important that you invest in the correct products. It’s always safest to use candles that have been specifically designed for this type of play, which have a lower melting point than your average high-street candle. However, if you do decide to purchase standard candles you should avoid beeswax, gel, and scented candles, which burn at a very high temperature and can result in second degree burns. Soy wax candles are the safest standard candles, as they cool quickly on contact and make for an easier clean up.

The further the candle is from the skin, the better. Stand high over your partner and drip the wax from arm’s length. Beware of splattering, and never drip candle wax on their face as splattering in the eyes can blind. Testing how hot the wax is beforehand will reduce the risks. This can be done by dripping a small amount on your wrist or the back of your hand to test the temperature. It is also worth dripping a small amount of wax on your partner’s arm to test their reaction to the temperature and ensure there is no allergic reaction. If they are happy and there is no adverse reaction, then you can start your play.

Body areas will vary widely by pain sensitivity. Start your play by dripping wax onto your partner’s back, arms, and shoulders. Once they’re comfortable, move onto other more sensitive areas, such as the buttocks, thighs, and stomach.

Removing Wax

Wax removal can be a painful exercise. Candle wax is tough to get out of just about anything, it will stick to hair for days, stain fabrics, and might have to be scraped off the skin. However, depending on what you and your partner want from the experience, this could add another dimension to your play and intensify the fun!

You could try picking off the wax with your nails, a credit card, or even a blunt knife to keep your partner writhing with excitement. You could even add other elements of BDSM play such as spanking or electrostimulation. Running a feather, silk glove or even a tongue over the peeled area can be a very sexy way of prolonging your session (and fun!). To avoid staining your bedding or carpet being with wax, put down a damp cloth or a throwaway sheet for your partner to lie or sit on.

Aftercare

All scenes, no matter what the focus is, should include responsible aftercare. Once a BDSM play scene has ended, it hasn’t really ended – the intimate and emotional connections will still be there, and so aftercare is important for everyone involved. There’s a wide range of thoughts, feeling and emotions that are linked with kink, especially as many of the scenes performed test one’s limits, boundaries, power, and control. The time following the end of the scene is an important time to strengthen the emotional connection and the feeling of well-being for both of you.  It’s also a time to show each other how much you enjoyed the scene, and to debrief.

Due to the intense level of this type of play, tending to your partner is extremely important. Treat the skin with care, it may be warm to the touch, incredibly sensitive, and have a soft red glow. Gently massaging moisturising lotion will help soothe the skin. Having an aftercare kit nearby is also recommended as it ensures that everything you need is close to hand, so you don’t have to leave your partner to go in search of plasters or creams.

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