This is a more common question than you might think. Most people want to know that they fall within the sexually ‘normal’ spectrum, and that whatever is going through their mind when they’re fantasising is acceptable. The truth is, there’s no such thing as normal when it comes to sex; we are all different in our sexual desires and kinks. If everyone agrees, there’s plenty of communication and you are both safe, it doesn’t matter what you and your partner are into.
Fantasy or Fetish?
Aren’t they the same thing? Well, no. In short, a fantasy is something that you spend a good time focusing on while having sex or masturbating – for example the hot blonde in the office or a kinky scenario you would like to try.
A fetish, on the other hand, is something that must be present for you to achieve sexual arousal and orgasm. For example – if you have a fetish for silk, your partner needs to be wearing silk lingerie or you need to be doing it on a silk duvet for you to stay sexually focused.
Where Do Fetishes Come From?
Experts have yet to agree on a cause. Some sexual behavioral specialists have traced fetishes back to early childhood, before they were even aware of their sexuality. Others have dismissed these claims completely and believe that fetishes come from social interactions in our teenage years, where we quickly establish what is taboo (which he then lust after) and what isn’t. In a nutshell? More research needs to be done.
Most Common Fetishes
People can fetishize almost anything. So which fetishes are most common? They usually involve body parts, body features, such as piercings or tattoos, and items of clothing. The feet are by far the most common fetish.
1. Foot Fetish
In a study of fetishes published in the International Journal of Impotence Research, feet and toes were the body parts most likely to be lusted after. Every detail about the foot can get an individual going. Most foot fetishists tend to be men who enjoy the smell or taste of feet and require some interaction with this part of the body to experience an orgasm.
2. Hair Fetish
This can take many forms, from tugging your partner’s hair as you orgasm to having them rub their hair over parts of your body.
3. Latex
Do you experience immense sexual pleasure when your partner wears latex, PVC or rubber? Then you may have a latex fetish. For some, it is the presence of these materials that excites them. For others, simply the smell or touch of latex is enough.
4. Domination and Submission
Does the idea of being tied up turn you on? Or maybe the idea of spanking your partner? BDSM; bondage, domination and submission, sadism and masochism, is an umbrella term for couples who engage in sexual activities that have dominant-submissive power play.
5. Voyeurism
In a recent study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, more than 10% of men reported at least one instance of voyeuristic behaviour. This fetish revolves around getting turned on either by looking at people having sex or the thought of being watched while doing it.
6. Cross Dressing
This particular fetish is more common than you’d imagine. It involves the fetishist need to either wear clothes from the opposite sex or be with someone who is. Although commonly associated with gay men, this fetish is equally as prominent among straight men. Why? For many, it is the excitement of wearing an item, or items, of clothing that is forbidden to them and could be caught doing.
7. Furries
Furries, or furry fandom is a subculture interested in fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human characteristics of personalities, for example – the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes. It is important to note that not all members of the furry fandom participate in a sexual way, but there are some who are sexually aroused by this form of cosplay.
Overall, fetishes are completely harmless. A recent study on adult baby fetishists found that among the 2,000 who reported having this fetish, an overwhelming majority said they were comfortable with their fetish and didn’t see it as a problem. So, if it causes pleasure and no one is being forced to take part or is being harmed, it’s not an issue. After all, the key to a fulfilling sex-life is to keep an open-mind and try new things – you may end up stumbling upon a kink that will really get you hot under the collar!