Can you be tipsy and still engage kinkily?
Any kind of BDSM can be dangerous and can put you in a compromising position where serious damage can be done. This can occur mentally, physically, and psychologically. Therefore, safety needs to be your main priority always. Mixing alcohol and play is shunned upon by many BDSM social circles because not only does it loosen your inhibitions, but you lose the ability to control yourself, to sense pain, and you lose awareness of your surroundings.
Surely, It’s the Dominant’s Responsibility?
Anytime you drink, you forfeit being in complete control of yourself and others. The dom needs to carefully monitor the scene and sub, and their judgement could be altered after a beer or two.
You may feel as though you are in complete control but your ability to control yourself or your submissive is greatly diminished. If you were thinking that alcohol will eliminate or reduce the awkward feeling that you experience prior to a scene it very well may but at an unsafe and substantial price. Alcohol can affect a dom during play in several negative ways, including:
Loss of Control
Breakdown in Communication
Strength – a dom might not realise their own strength or the actual intensity level in which they are operating.
Loss of Judgement – a dom may begin to believe that they know better than their sub by trying to push their limits to new heights. They may also become focused on their own actions, goals or gratification and become completely unaware of the sub’s physical or psychological state.
Reduced Effective Decision-Making Skills
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. So, it must surely be the responsibility of the dom to remain the sober and lucid partner?
This is not the case. The sub needs to be able to communicate effectively. While under the influence of drugs or alcohol not only is there a much greater opportunity for miscommunication, but their senses may also be dulled to the point where they cannot distinguish between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ pain. A safeword might be omitted in favor of taking more, and feedback is likely to be minimal.
BDSM is also based on a level of consent. How consensual will your scene be after you’ve had a few drinks? Will you or your partner agree to something you wouldn’t normally allow or do? As such, it is the responsibility of both partners to remain sober, clearheaded, and in control at all times.
In a nutshell, we all need to be responsible while drinking. When engaging in kink it’s best to operate in a safe, effective manner. You may feel you can control your drinking, but your level of control diminishes the more alcohol you consume. And not everyone can handle and control their drinking, as much as they believe otherwise! Scenes can go wrong all on their own, and we need to be constantly aware of the potential dangers that exist at all times. Add alcohol, and your scene could result with a trip to A&E or worse.
It’s simple: if you’re going to drink, don’t play! If you want to play, don’t drink!