It’s easy to see why spanking and flogging has become such a hit. It can take you on a journey of sensations from warm and gentle to thrilling spikes of pleasure and orgasmic release. Not only does it increase the blood flow to the nearby genitals and cause a spike in adrenaline, it also stimulates the nerve endings and increases sexual arousal.
The spanking spectrum covers a lot of ground. At one end are the playful taps you do every now and then, and at the other end is ‘impact play’ – where one person is struck for sexual gratification. Whether you’re new to spanking or a powerful dominant, make sure you do it respectfully, sexily, and have the right tools to whip your partner into a frenzy!
Safety First
As with any form of kink, there’s a risk of injury. To reduce the chance of bruises, stick to more muscular or fatty areas of the body, such as the buttocks and upper thighs. Always keep floggers and whips away from the face and eyes.
To limit swelling and reduce pain, apply an ice pack or a cool moisturiser, like aloe vera gel, to the area after the scene has ended. Continue to do this a few times a day until the swelling has completely gone. If the bruises have not vanished after four weeks, make an appointment with your GP to check that you haven’t strained or damaged the muscles.
There is also the risk of the skin breaking, especially when using canes, whips, and other long-range implements. Don’t play if you have taken blood thinning medication, including Warfarin or Aspirin. Keep a first aid kit nearby with antibacterial cleaner and plasters, and if deep cuts occur, stop immediately.
When trying any kind of BDSM play for the first time, it is important to pick a safe word that will end the session immediately.
Talk About Intensity
Alongside picking a safe word, you also need to communicate with your partner before, during, and afterward. Use touch to get a feel for your partner’s preferred intensity and ask them what their pain threshold is like? Try a few practice rounds to learn what their comfort level is. And even after you’ve laid out ground rules and established a safe word, pay attention.
Start with Spanking
If you’re new to impact play, start with your hands, because they’re easily accessible and won’t hurt your wallet. Erotic spanking can be enjoyed as part of role play, during intercourse, or as part of a punishment in a BDSM scenario.
Remember that foreplay is key – not only will it get the bum nice and ready for what’s coming, but it will also drive your partner crazy with anticipation! Start by gently massage the area in a circular motion and squeeze the skin to increase blood flow. Then try some light swats with the palm of your hand until the area is a rosy pink colour; this means the bum is ready for a firmer spanking. You can always pro-long the foreplay by rubbing and caressing the area after each swat, the combination of sensations will intensify the situation and drive your partner wild.
Cup your hand slightly, with your fingers together and spank lightly in an upward motion. Once you’ve become comfortable with the spanking, play with pressures and rhythms to see what your partner does and doesn’t enjoy.
If you want to take spanking even further, invest in a paddle. This will allow a greater range of movement and the different texture will give you some unique sensations too. Only move on to these when both of you feel ready. Always take the time to check that you are both comfortable with what’s going on and that you remember your safe word.
We recommend: Sportsheets Leather Paddle with Fur Side (€34.44, kinky.ie).
Flogging
Floggers consist of strands of leather, or other materials, called falls. The falls are attached to a firm handle, which are often wrapped in leather for easier gripping. Compared to other impact play toys, the flogger has the most options of any non-electric tool in the kinky toolbox, and they provide a wide range of sensation with a minimal amount of risk.
Start with a flogger made of soft materials with thick tails. Begin by gently running the tails over the skin to get your partner accustomed to the feel of a flogger. Then start flogging by swinging the whip in a figure of eight. Let it begin softly and build as endorphin levels rise to stronger strokes. As a general rule, it takes 15-20 minutes for endorphin levels in the body to increase. Another tell-tale sign is to keep an eye on the skin; most skin exhibits redness when it is warmed up to the point where harder strokes may be done. Experiment with different proximities to your partner, pressure, and rhythms to figure out the best way to use it.
We recommend: H Style Flogger (€45.93, kinky.ie).