Spicing up your sex life often involves getting a little kinky; handcuffs, leather, whips and so forth. Such activities can be fun and super sexy, but if done incorrectly can quickly end a session or result in injury. When it comes to expanding your sexual repertoire; talk, talk and talk some more. You should both be on the same page and feel comfortable with what’s about to place.
An article on the importance of safety may seem really obvious and not very exciting, but I promise that you will never regret taking the time to learn how to keep you and your partner safe. So, here are a few things to consider before, during and after a hot and heavy session.
Pick a Safe word
I continually highlight the importance of choosing a safe word – it’ll bring everything to a halt and reduces the risks of either partner getting hurt. You can simply choose one word that means stop – choosing a word that is unlikely to slip out accidentality during the fun – or you can establish levels of safe words. Many partners use the traffic light colours because it’s easy to understand. Green is “Go ahead;” yellow means “I don’t want you to stop, but can you slow down/ease up” and Red is “Stop now.”
Choose your toys carefully
This works on so many levels. On the most basic of levels, don’t buy cheap toys from sketchy companies. Poor quality toys are more likely to break or malfunction and could end with more than just disappointment. Be wary of the materials too; plastic and silicone are good, but wood or glass objects should be avoided like the plague. One last thing, check your toys for sharp edges or rough sides before inserting.
On a different level, think about what you’re planning to do with the toys before purchasing them. When caught in the moment, we can often make some unsafe decisions regarding the props we use.
If you take certain factors into consideration beforehand, you reduce the risks. For example, you wouldn’t give your dog a toy that it could swallow, and the same should apply to your partner.
So make sure that you buy a ball gag with attached straps to buckle it around the head, and make sure you attach it correctly before you start to play. Anything that provides an anchor for the ball outside the mouth will instantly makes it safer, so keep this is mind when browsing. When it comes to phallic-shaped toys, always make sure there’s a flared base.
Do a Test Run
Who doesn’t love being handcuffed? Or a good nipple clamp? Be sure to test any clamps on your own flesh before popping it onto your partner, and the same things applies to handcuffs, bondage rope and even silk scarfs. Even then, remember that everyone’s tolerance for pain is different. On the subject of clamps, and any form of bondage – tying up and clamps are not meant to be worn for hours. They can cause serious circulation issues, so regularly check the colour and temperature of your partner’s flesh. Also, never leave the room if your partner is tied up. They might be fine when you nip downstairs to grab some strawberries, but circumstances can change. Yes, it’s a hassle to untie and re-tie, but it’s better than an awkward trip to hospital.
Communication
I’ve already briefly touched on this, but I really can’t stress enough the importance of communication. This article assumes you are in a relationship with your partner. However, if you’re single, all the same safety precautions apply. Arrange to meet in a neutral public space, and discuss your scenes in detail before you even think of executing them. There are even special clubs that are set up for singles who are looking to hook up and explore some kinky fantasies – such clubs provide a safe environment. In a nutshell, don’t try anything unless you are comfortable with the person in question, and do not allow them to restrain you and make you helpless unless you fully trust them. It’s your word against theirs as to what happened when you were alone.
It’s important to sit down afterwards and discuss the scene with your partner. Firstly, although body language is an important gauge of what your partner is and isn’t enjoying, it’s not always easy to tell. Your partner could be writhing in pain but could still be enjoying the experience. Secondly, asking questions might help you both open up and discuss other toys, positions or locations you’ve been fantasising about. At the end of the day, it’s all about having fun in a safe and comfortable setting. Don’t hold back!