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Is a Dungeon Better than Home Kinky Play?

Woman with bondage whip behind her

Vanilla sex is okay, but it can get very boring after a while. That is why so many of us look for some kinky play we can try at home, turning our bedrooms from simply a place to sleep into our own home dungeons. It is a lot of fun, and there are so many hot and kinky things that you can do at home that you won’t run out of ideas any time soon. If you’re anything like me, you’ll find so many fun things you are eager to try out that you’ll never be bored in bed again! However, while you might like having some kinky fun in the privacy of your own home, there are plenty of people out there who prefer visiting dungeons instead.

There are so many different reasons why someone might prefer a dungeon party to some kinky play at home, and they will change from person to person. Here on Kinky we want to give you the reasons why you might want to give dungeon parties a try, and what you should know before you pay a visit. You might just find a new favourite environment to have some kinky fun in!

A change of environment

One of the biggest appeals for visiting a dungeon is that it is a totally different environment. This might sound like we are stating the obvious, but how your kinky play goes at home will be totally different to how it goes in a dungeon.

For a start, you might have an audience. This will add a certain thrill, knowing that you are getting spanked and whipped with others watching. You might want to put on a bit of a show, moaning that little bit louder than usual. Honestly, knowing that someone is watching you is a huge thrill. My first time in a dungeon I found that I was dripping wet at the mere thought of others catching us in the middle of some kinky fun.

You will also get access to way more toys that you will have at home. Most home dungeons and play spaces don’t have the same level of toys and equipment for you to use, and if there is a toy you were thinking of buying, a dungeon is the perfect place to test it out. You can learn a little more about the toy from watching others use it, and the dungeon master will be able to give you some great tips before you try. You should definitely talk to the DM if you have the chance, as in my experience they may even suggest an even better toy for you. Once you have tried it, you’ll know whether it is something you wish to add to your home play space or something that just didn’t work for you.

Being a part of the community

Of course, visiting a dungeon isn’t just about the fun that you can have there. For many it is about the community that you get to be a part of, as you get to meet other people just like you to talk to.

Pretty much every dungeon party will have an area set up specifically for those wanting to talk to others, and for those wanting to take a moment to chill out. Things can get quite intense in a dungeon, so these areas are perfect if you have found yourself rushing in for the first time. These social areas will also give you the chance to talk to the dungeon master and other kinky players, giving you the chance to make new friends.

The community is very welcoming, and if it is your first time in a dungeon, the people there will be more than happy to tell you the things that you should know. Each dungeon will have its own set of rules, and it is worth finding these out before you go.

Before you play…

Unfortunately, BDSM still isn’t as widely accepted in society as it should be, which is why it is a good idea to take steps to protect your identity before you go to a dungeon. Many of the community members use a pseudonym on purpose, as the things that happen between two consenting adults behind closed doors is no-one else’s business at all. It also gives you the chance to create a whole new personality for yourself. At work I am usual quite shy and timid, willing to do all I need to get the job done, but in a dungeon I become the dominant mistress, taking control of my sub and making them do whatever I please.

Each dungeon will have its own dress code. Some may want you to wear fetish pieces for the event, while others are more than happy for you to wear street clothes, as long as you look smart. Check with the dungeon in advance to check out their dress policy to ease your mind. Most even allow you to take clothes to change into, in case you don’t wish to leave the dungeon in the tight leathers.

The rules will vary slightly from dungeon to dungeon, so it is worth finding out the rules so you can stick to them as best you can on the night. Don’t just assume that the rules in one dungeon apply to them all. I made this mistake once, but thankfully a fellow kinky player pulled me to one side and explained that things were different here. I apologised and got a better understanding of the dungeon I was in as a result of it, but it can be very embarrassing. The kink community is quite small and word can travel fast, so it is best to try avoiding upsetting anyone during your time in the dungeon. It will also mean you get a lot more respect if you show that the rules matter to you, and if the dungeon rules don’t suit you, you can always find another dungeon elsewhere.

When you are heading to the dungeon, make sure you bring the admission fee you’ll need to pay as well as some photo ID. Your ID won’t be used against you by a reputable dungeon, so don’t panic. It is just to check that you are an adult. If you have questions about the process, you can ask, but it might be best to do this before you turn up. Standing at the doorway and holding up the line won’t put you in their good books! You might also wish to have a small bag to keep your clothes in (if you change) and a lock to keep your things secured, if they have locker access in the dungeon. Many of us don’t seem to be able to go for five minutes without looking at our phones, but in a dungeon it is rude to take your phone out. After all, this is an accepting but private community, so leave your phone switched off and in your locker for safe keeping. Not only will people feel more comfortable around you if you aren’t constantly checking your phone, but you will have much more fun without the distraction.

Enjoying your time in a dungeon

It might seem as though there are a lot of rules and things to remember when you visit a dungeon, but the key thing to remember is that the dungeon is there for you to have fun. Don’t be afraid to try out new toys and, if you see a play session that you like the look of, feel free to ask questions to the players once it is over. During my first dungeon party I saw a couple trying suspension bondage. It was, back then, a huge fantasy of mine to try, and when they had finished I asked them for tips. They thanked me for waiting until they had finished to ask questions, as newbies can sometimes interrupt the fun in their enthusiasm, and they then gave me a general run down of suspension play to get me going.

If you are a little shy, this is the perfect place to use your new persona. You can create a character who is more confident and kinky than you are in public, and since you won’t know anyone in the dungeon, you can totally be that person. Explore and have fun with this new side of you.

Don’t forget that there is a dungeon master in all good dungeons to help you out and answer your queries, so if there is a toy you want to try but feel it is a little out of your league, they might be able to suggest places to go to research it and build up your skills. If your dungeon master is anything like mine, they’ll tell you just what you need to do to try out some new kinky things in the bedroom.

Whatever happens, you are sure to see why dungeons can be so much better than home kinky play. Personally, I will make sure I visit a dungeon party once every few months, if I have the time. It is a great environment to explore, and it will give you the perfect break from your bedroom play space. Do you prefer to visit dungeons, or do you like to keep things private by exploring your play space at home? Let us know what you think of dungeons, or if there are some tips you think we have missed, by leaving a comment below.

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