Spanking – A Guide

man spanking schoolgirl over his knee

Are you ready to shake up your sex life? Erotic spanking can take you on a journey of sensations from warm and gentle, to thrilling spikes of pleasure and orgasmic release. It can seem a little daunting at first, but with the right technique and practice, it can create the sexual intensity that you and your partner crave. On a physical level, spanking increases the blood flow to the nearby genitals and causes a spike in adrenaline. The result? Increased sexual arousal and lots of fun! So, what are you waiting for?!

Safe word

When trying any kind of BDSM play for the first time, it is important to pick a safe word. A word that both of you agree on that won’t accidentally slip out during the fun. It’s worth agreeing too that once this safe word has been used, the session is over.

Likewise, a few key words can be established to signal that you need to slow down, be gentler, and so on – of course, you can simply say “slow down” but some get a little caught up and don’t realise what their partner is really asking until they go too far. Using a word like “Peanuts” is more likely to bring you back into the moment.

Foreplay first

You may have been wanting to try this for a while, but after waiting this long surely you can wait a little longer? Don’t rush in – spend some time on foreplay before you get started. If you’re partner’s not aroused, a firm smack on the bottom is likely to hurt more than anything else. “Don’t even think about starting the session until you’re fully aroused,” warns sexpert Tracey Cox. If your partner is not aroused, she’s less likely to be receptive be to erotic pain. It’s the same for men too; you should stop spanking the minute your arousal level falls.

It’s all about the warm up, not only will it get the bum nice and ready for what’s coming, but it will also drive your partner crazy with anticipation! Start with some light swats with the palm of your hand until the area is a rosy pink colour – this means the bum is ready for a firmer spanking. You can always pro-long the foreplay by rubbing and caressing the area after each swat, the combination of sensations will intensify the situation and drive your partner wild.

Role playing

Spanking games lend themselves perfectly to sexy role-play. Dressing up and pretending to be someone else can help get you and your partner get in the mood and can also give you the courage to explore your fantasies and bring them to life. Some also find it easier introducing spanking during role-play as it becomes part of the act and alter-ego instead.

Starting off

When starting off, we recommend that you use your hands. This allows you the opportunity control your strength and stay aware of how hard you are spanking. Play with various techniques, pressures and rhythms to see what your partner does and doesn’t enjoy. Once you have both explored various hand techniques, rhythms and pressures, there are an array of props, whips and paddles available to be used. Only move on to these when both of you feel ready. Always take the time to check that you are both comfortable with what’s going on and that you remember your keywords.

Don’t even think of using a bullwhip, or whip of any kind, unless you know what you’re doing; misuse can result in serious injuries and worse.

The best positions for spanking

When it comes to spanking; anything goes! While it’s best to start with gentle slaps on the bottom, there are a variety of spanking positions to try. For those combining role-play and spanking, use props to your advantage. Try over the knee, stooped over a chair, or across a table. For those feeling a little kinky, get your partner on all fours, or try with their hands tied.

Encourage your partner to give you instructions, and tell you exactly what they want you to do. In the same way, telling your partner what your planning on doing next will not only reduce the risk of taking them by surprise (in a bad way), but the anticipation of the pleasures to come is sure to spice things up a little.
Spanking is all about pleasure and excitement. Keep it light-hearted and playful, and you’re guaranteed to have fun!!

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