Are you lacking a little imagination lately? Need a kinky clue?
So, is your partner difficult to pin down? Or, are you simply ready to take things up a notch (whether on your bedpost, or anywhere else for that matter)? Then you’ve come to the right place! Adding a little restraint to your playtime ensures that your partner remains firmly in their place to endure whatever pleasure/punishment you decide to throw their way.
Not only do restraints add to the aesthetics in your play, they also heighten all other senses (as touch is restricted), intensify the emotional connection between you and your partner, provide a real taste of submissive servitude, and keep bottoms in the perfect position for superior stimulation.
Safety First
Bondage is never risk-free, the biggest concern when using restraints is nerve damage and circulatory problems. If your partner reports tingling or a loss of sensation, or you spot a change in temperature or skin colour – stop the scene immediately. To stop this from happening, follow the two-finger rule and leave space for one or two fingers between the restraints and the skin. Additional space should be left around the rib cage. Check in with your partner often using safe words and safe signals, and keep new bottoms in bondage for no more than 15-30 minutes at a time. After the scene has ended, cover your partner in a blanket or bring them a hot water bottle – the warmth will get the blood flowing.
As with all forms of BDSM, plan ahead, bring scissors or a knife, and don’t be afraid to cut someone out if things go awry.
Communication is key
As mentioned above, you really need to communicate beforehand. So, before you grab the handcuffs you should discuss a safe word. Double check that you are both aware of the word and that when it is said the session is stopped completely.
Bondage is all about mixing pain and pleasure, but you must always be aware of your partner’s needs. Communication, whether verbal or physical, is what bondage is about. You should take note of your partners’ reactions and tailor your games and techniques to that.
Types of Bondage
Before getting all tied up, it’s important to familiarise yourself with the different restraints available. Here are some of the most common types:
Handcuffs
Some sturdy cuffs should be a staple of your toolbox. Cuffs comes in many shapes and sizes – catering to a range of tastes; from Furry Fun Cuffs (€ 14.40 kinky.ie) to some sexy Fetish Fantasy Metal Handcuffs (€ 10.35 kinky.ie). Personally, we advise trying out something soft like fluffy or leather handcuffs first, which will keep your lover comfortably restrained. Cuffs that come with a quick-release button are great for those who are prone to losing things…like the keys! Most handcuffs come with this mechanism, but it’s something to keep in mind when browsing.
Restraining Systems
Once you’ve played with bondage a few times, you and your partner might decide to take things to the next level.
A bondage restrain set, like Fetish Fantasy Ultimate Bed Restrain System (€ 80.60) will transform your bed into a passion playground. This restraint system is versatile, fun and perfect for beds without best posts. It features two large nylon straps that wrap around the headboard and footboard – these are connected to 4 tethers and cuffs that can be clipped anywhere you want, creating elaborate bondage scenarios without tying knows or using hardware. Use your imagination and there’s no limit to the fun!
There are also door restraints, which can spice up any sex play, but also make a welcome addition to BDSM. There’s nothing quite like watching your partner squirming for freedom and having an escape within easy reach! Want to open up to a world of new possibilities? We recommend the Complete Bondage Kit (€ 40.31).
Spreader Bars
Another kinky piece to add to your collection; a spreader bar allows you to try new positions and scenarios you never dared. A spreader bar is usually made of metal and is attached via cuffs to ankles or wrists (or both!) to prevent the wearer from closing their thighs or wrists. The Fetish Fantasy Hogtie Bondage Bar (€ 57.57) comes with a set of adjustable neoprene cuffs, which allows for some movement. Spreader bars are a perfect tool for doms who want to place their partner in the right position for pleasure.
Rope
If you’re looking for something a little more elaborate than standard restraints, rope may be the perfect choice for you. Not only does it look the part, rope is robust, durable, and will certainly put a stop to any hope of an escape! Generally speaking, all forms of rope and string could be used for bondage. Nevertheless, for first tie-ers, we recommend investing in some good quality rope like the soft and smooth touch Love Bondage Rope (€ 11.50).
Bondage tape
Unlike regular tape, bondage tape is shiny, sexy and self-adhesive. It’s easy to remove and painless – even on body hair. This means you can use the tape to bond, blindfold, and gag. Bondage tape is not only strong and durable, it looks incredible too, and you can even create your own fetish wear with it! We recommend the Fifty Days of Play Tape (€ 10.94).