Immense pleasure can found in the prostate – one study found that the male orgasm is 33% more powerful when the prostate is stimulated. Nevertheless, it is still relatively taboo among heterosexual men. Some worry that enjoying a little prostate play will turn them gay, some think it’s too dirty, and others are weary of the pain and discomfort it may cause.
Anal stimulation isn’t for everyone, but until you try it you won’t know. According to the National Health Statistics study, 36% of women and 44% of men have tried some form of anal play. These figures suggest that heterosexuals are becoming more open to the idea of anal stimulation, with one in three women and almost half of the population of men having already started exploring the joys of anal play.
Communicating About Anal Stimulation
Even though many of us enjoying anal play, it is not something that couples should rush into. Communicating our preferences and worries is important and an easy way to gage where your partner stands on the issue. If he’s not totally sold on the idea, don’t push it. Suggest watching anal porn together instead or offer to massage his lower back, thighs, and bum cheeks. If you want to make your man feel comfortable about anal stimulation, preparation will help ensure a smooth and pleasurable experience.
Safety and Hygiene
It goes without saying that hygiene is important. It is important to shower and clean out the anus beforehand. Through washing beforehand, it reduces the risk that germs will spread, it limits unpleasant smells and tastes, and it helps dispel any fears about hygiene and cleanliness. If you want a thorough clean you can use an enema – otherwise simply showering will do the job.
Wearing a glove can prevent any damage to your partner’s anus. If you opt for no-gloves, ensure that your nails are clipped short with no ragged edges, which can cause tearing in the rectum.
Lashings of Lube
The anus is not self-lubricating, which can lead to tiny tears, so plenty of lube is needed. Lube will reduce friction and will make the experience far more pleasurable. There’s a variety of anal lubes available, but any lube will do the job. However, avoid any lube with numbing ingredients. Pain is a sign that something isn’t right, so you’ll want his pain sensors fully operational so that he is able to guide you.
Don’t Forget the Foreplay
As with most things, when you’re turned on you are more likely to enjoy a kinky experience. Get your partner in the mood by trailing a finger between his ass cheeks, or stimulate the area around the anus with your mouth, tongue, or a well-lubed finger.
Don’t neglect the rest of his body. In the same way that many women can’t orgasm through G-spot stimulation alone, some men report not being able to achieve orgasm through anal and prostate stimulation alone. So give plenty of attention to his neck, chest, nipples, and penis.
Positions and Techniques
When it comes to anal fingering, it is all about finding a technique that works for both you and your partner. The prostate is located around two inches inside a man’s anus, towards his stomach. Curling your finger inside his rectum should allow you to reach it– it feels a little like a walnut, and your man is sure to recognize it as soon as you locate it.
It is unlikely that you will reach the prostate on your first attempt, but patience is key! For beginners, slowly work your way further and further inside; a simple in-and-out motion should be pleasurable and will help him relax into it. As you progress and he becomes comfortable with the sensation, push a little further or add more fingers.
The prostate responds to greater pressure than other erogenous zones, so take your time testing out a few different positions and methods. Some men like on-and-off pressure, while others will simply like the feeling of their prostate being pressed during foreplay, sexual intercourse, or blowjob.
Let Him Be in Charge
No matter whose fantasy it is, or how much fun you’re having – your partner is always in charge. It’s his anus, after all. Anal fingering is a mind-blowingly kinky experience, but it’s also a new experience that may take some time to get used to. And so, he should set the pace, he should guide you, and most importantly – when he calls out the safeword, or says stop, the session ends. Be gentle, be patient, communicate, and most importantly have fun!