Talking dirty is a fantastic way to have some kinky fun with your partner. Research has shown that individuals competent in sexual communication tend to experience increased sexual satisfaction. Dirty talk can be a powerful and seductive tool, and it provides you with an opportunity to really push back all the boundaries and stops. However, it can be awkward. Held back by nerves, fear of embarrassment, or inexperience – incorporating dirty talk into our routine can be intimidating. Not sure where to start? Here’s some ideas to get you started.
Setting boundaries
Dirty talk can be sexy and fun, but if there are words used that you or your partner don’t like, it can leave one of you feeling uncomfortable and potentially ruin the moment. Looking for inspiration? Watch some porn for some suggestions. Be warned, the dirty talk used in porn is often a little extreme and may be a little too graphic compared with what you had in mind. However, it can help generate some ideas. Once you both know what works and what doesn’t, it’s time to try it out.
Another thing to remember – what you and your partner say to each other in the bedroom is meant for the bedroom only. Talking dirty is part of sex play and should not be taken seriously in the real world. Just because she lets you call her a “dirty whore” in bed, doesn’t mean that she wants you to use this expression in everyday situations.
Say what you’re going to do
This is a great way for those who are uncomfortable at the thought of talking dirty. This is also one of the easiest forms to get started with, because it doesn’t require a lot of imagination. However, you do need to be comfortable with the words and terms you use. Essentially you will be narrating your sexy encounter: tell your partner how good it feels, what you’re going to do and what you want them to do to you. If you can maintain eye contact as you’re describing it, it’ll be even sexier.
Don’t use any kind of crude terms at first, just see how she responds to simple sexy phrases like “You’re so wet” or “This feels incredible”. Get her to warm up to the prospect of dirty talk first and look for her moans and groans to indicate whether or not she is into it. If she’s enjoying it, introduce some more exciting things to say.
Don’t fake it. The last thing you want is to put on a big show and say things that you won’t do and don’t believe. Try to be yourself and say the words/phrases that feel comfortable and come out naturally. Saying words and/or phrases that you wouldn’t normally use could sounds forced and kill the mood.
Say what you just did
Don’t just stop because, well, you’ve stopped. Talking dirty and telling your partner what you just did will prolong the experience, and has the potential to lead into something else. Go over what worked well and what didn’t, this could prompt your partner to respond with what they would like to take a turn doing…
Talking about your fantasy
Revealing your sexiest fantasy is a great way to talk dirty. If you and your partner are really comfortable with each other, just let loose. Tell her everything you’ve always wanted to do and try, and see how much it turns her on. Talking about your fantasy does require a bit of an imaginations; it’s not just coming out with your fantasy but talking it through in detail. Even if the fantasy isn’t theirs, they can see how it would play out and the chances are it’ll get them very excited.
Role Play
Role play takes talking dirty up a notch and will require a little more pre-planning than the other forms mentioned above. Don’t let this put you off though, because the extra work is worth it! The possibilities are endless, so discuss your fantasies, encourage her to tell you hers, and find a scenario that works for you both. Remember, unless one of you is tied up and gagged, role play will require both of you to talk dirty – so it has to be something you are both willing to try.