There’s sex. There’s good sex. And there’s toe-curling, mind-blowingly incredible sex.
Which would you prefer?
If it’s the latter, here are 5 golden rules to guarantee that’s what you’ll get.
1. Get Her in the Mood Gradually
Physically speaking, things should feel like they’re developing naturally, almost inevitably. So make sure to get some casual contact in throughout the foreplay — a squeeze on the arm, a hand run across her back, a gentle shoulder rub. Then the kiss will seem like the next logical step, and will begin to arouse her.
Start with soft and gentle kisses. Once you’ve kissed her, keep in mind that the intensity of the sexual act should gradually build. Make her warm up to you with caressing. Start off by running your fingers over the skin of her arms and shoulders, then gradually apply more of your palms to her upper and lower back. Kissing can start lightly, then get deeper and more passionate. You’ll find yourself doing this consciously at first, then after a few times, it’ll just happen.
If you combine good technique with a pace just a bit slower than you’d naturally take, she’ll be begging for it.
Unless you have a really good reason not to (like your partner recently had a child), couples should be aiming to have sex at least twice a week.
Doesn’t sound like much? Well, take a look at these stats: a quarter of couples have sex just once a week, while a third have it twice. 15% have sex three times a week. And 5% of people watch telly or their ipads while they’re having sex.
Setting some time aside for regular sex has multiple benefits, including more orgasms with less effort. The more you have sex, the quicker the chemical connection between brain cells because the impulses are travelling along a well-beaten path.
3. Separate Sex from Love
Great sex and true love don’t go together like ham and cheese.
Use your head – just because the sex is out of this world, it doesn’t mean this is the love of your life. So, practice safe sex in all senses: don’t wear your heart on your sleeve to the point where you’re hopelessly vulnerable. Refuse to be treated badly in the bedroom, unless it’s something you have discussed and have chosen to explore (as part of a scene, for example).
4. Open Your Eyes
Close your eyes on orgasm and you’ll have an intensely pleasurable private experience.
Open them, keep them fixed on each other, and it becomes shared and even more intimate. Isn’t that part of the attraction?
5. Learn to Laugh
If you’ve never done something in bed that’s left you feeling embarrassed – you win gold for the World’s Most Boring Lover.
We’ve all had experiences that have been far from the fantasy you’d hoped for; slipped on underwear, broken wind at the worst possible moment, tried positions your body wasn’t quite ready for, slipped while trying to get it on in the shower…sex is rarely like it is in the movies! But if you are willing to laugh at yourself and shrug it off, the more comfortable you both will be in experimenting and having fun. After all, you’re having sex, not performing live!